


adore u.

by discodream



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discodream/pseuds/discodream
Summary: “you went missing. and then he comes, looking so much like you...what was i supposed to do?”
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Sora/Yozora (Kingdom Hearts), Yozora/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 71





	adore u.

**Author's Note:**

> so, hello! i kind of halted my other fics writing this so i'm glad to be finally posting it. i realized it's a little too long for me to post all at once so this is going to be a two-parter. with remind coming out in just four days, i want to emphasize heavily this fic is pre-remind. i don't know if yozora's personality and that of aegis and magia are going to conflict with the ones i've attributed to them here, and i'm not changing it if they do, so there's that warning for any after remind readers. 
> 
> !! this fic is sora/riku but mostly of sora/yozora. it gets sort of conflicting and angsty. bear that in mind. [also if u need help visualizing yozora, just imagine riku with yozora's eyes. somehow along writing, i got a little confused] 
> 
> lastly, this is unbeta'd and imperfect so apologies in advance. enjoy part one!

_“your wonder, under summer skies_  
 _brown skin and lemon over ice_  
 _would you believe it?_ ”

**⨳**

Unlike the summers before, this one coming up felt short. Something about it nibbled at him and pulled his heart tight, swelling it up until it felt full. Sora didn’t understand it. He wanted to. Sliding his fingers in between Riku’s and feeling the warm calloused skin against his own, his heart still felt the same. The pain didn’t go away, and even watching Riku’s soft eyes land on his in surprise he wasn't comforted. Sora wanted to ask. He wanted to know why things felt like they wouldn’t be okay this summer. This was the summer before finally going to university, why shouldn’t it be?   
  
His eyelids fluttered, seeing Riku lift their entwined hands and giving his a light kiss.   
  
The warm puff of his breath and Sora felt a smile already lifting at the corner of lips. The pain still stayed, but he always smiled for Riku. Always.   
  
“Why do you look so sad?” Riku asked.  
  
Sora stayed quiet for a moment and shrugged. “I don’t know. Something just…doesn’t feel right.”  
  
Riku raised a brow and Sora could only look away, off to the rapidly falling dusk around them. The cicadas in Riku’s backyard were starting to noise and he could faintly hear his cat’s collar jingling about. Riku gave the back of his hand another kiss, this time for a few seconds longer, before just giving it a nuzzle. Sora sighed.  
  
He wanted to enjoy this. It felt all too perfect. It was supposed to.  
  
“Whatever’s on your mind,” Riku began, murmuring, “Can you let me take it away?”  
  
Sora looked to his soft eyes, eyes promising him peace of mind, promising everything and anything he wanted. He smiled and Riku tightened his hand around his. Just another promise.  
  
“And how’ll you do that?” Sora asked. “It’s a lot.”  
  
“What you’re feeling?”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
Riku shrugged, slightly lowering their hands. “I just have to distract you a lot.”  
  
Sora blinked. “Oh.”

He felt the pull forward and,  
  
Riku’s hands were on the sides of his face, drawing him close and bringing their lips plush together, soft against chapped, opening, seeking for that heat. The dizzying kind that made Sora feel breathless and for Riku to just grow closer, kissing him deeper and letting his tongue slide against his wetly, wantonly. 

The grass beneath them suddenly felt like a cloud, weightless, just as Sora’s stomach felt light and airy, his fingers prickling in heat. He scrunched his eyes, feeling Riku’s hand on his thigh, traveling up to his side to squeeze him and he couldn’t help it then. Sora gasped, involuntarily pulling apart as pleasure thrummed him strong.

“Sora,” Riku was still close, “Don’t stop me from distracting you.”

“I’m not—” Sora whined, dizzy-eyed and pink cheeks, but he couldn’t finish. Riku was on his lips again, leading them both low to the grass, and Sora wanted to cry. It felt all too good, but something wasn’t right. His eyes were prickling before he could think and Riku was pressing warm kisses on his eyelids, his body hovering over his, smelling of home, of everything.

It felt unavoidable when the hot tears slid down. Sora felt his mouth open, crying out, and Riku was already planting a kiss on the corner of his lips.  
  
“I’ll make it go away.” He whispered. “Just tell me what to do.”  
  
Sora’s tears grew fatter, shining his cheeks and glassing his blue eyes, as Riku could only keep kissing him, wishing to stop it all. 

And for some reason, Sora felt that he really could.

  
⨳

  
It happened a week after. That Riku went missing.  
  
Sora knew almost immediately when it happened. None of his texts were being replied to, no calls returned, instead just going straight to voicemail. He went to his part-time job, hoping Riku would still show up after his shift to pick him up. He had stood here, jittery and heart at his throat. Riku was never late; maybe today would be his first time?  
  
But, no. Riku hadn’t shown up.  
  
Instead of getting on the train home, he got on the opposite track and took it heading to the left side of town. His legs were pressed tightly, crossing his arms and shutting his eyes in a will to calm himself down (hopefully there being a logical reason behind this all). The train lights flickered above him and Sora felt doubt knife deeper.   
  
When he finally got to Riku’s place, the lights were off and Riku’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Sora could only walk around almost hopelessly, brows furrowing at any possible answer he could think of. He eventually didn’t take too much time. He pulled out his spare key, walking hurriedly to the doorway and unlocking the door in shaky jerks. His eyes were already burning, and his lips were already moving before he realized.   
  
“Riku? Riku!”   
  
The house was dark.   
  
He stood in the darkness for a moment, hearing only the echoes of his hoarse voice. He was breathing hard and he was sweaty. Sora realized then, what he was feeling. That feeling from a week ago, probing and finding a nesting place in his heart.  
  
It had been dread.

⨳

  
(They had been best friends since they were kids.  
  
Sora and Riku, people would say about them, they were inseparable. Two pairs of eyes watching each other with love, promise—it was vivid and seeable to anyone else what they would eventually become. It took high school for them notice and Sora was the one who did first. So he liked to believe.   
  
Riku in front of him, walking ahead—and he would get the urge to run up to him and hold his hand. Riku, turning, slight frown and questioning eyes—and he would get the urge to kiss his nose, and then his lips, and then hug and cling on to him until Riku wasn’t frowning again. It took a lot of scenarios like those to make him realize.   
  
It took sophomore year, stuck at the train station, hiding from the rain with their soaked uniforms for Sora to stand on his tippy-toes and loop his arms around Riku’s neck.  
  
“You’re so warm, Riku.”

And Riku had embraced him back, Sora feeling those arms around his waist bringing him close. He had wanted so much more of it. He bit his lip and nuzzled his cheek further into Riku’s neck. He’d tell those thoughts to go away, not realizing they were already in his actions.  
  
Riku had kissed his ear then. And Sora had almost jumped, had it not been for Riku hugging him tighter.   
  
“No, Sora. You’re warmer.” Riku had said. Sora could only stare at Riku’s neck in heated shock.  
  
They went home together that day…and that’s how they were found.   
  
Riku’s place was closer to their high school, and Sora hadn’t wanted to leave his side especially then. Riku made it clear he didn’t want him to either. So they went to his home, went up his room.  
  
Riku’s mother kicked Sora out when’d she walked in and found them an hour later.  
  
There were a lot of tears and shouting, a lot of disheveled uniforms and running out the house in maddened fear. Sora had taken the train back home that day with Riku right beside him, both of them angry and wrung out from the whiplash. They had explained to Sora’s dad then what happened and so Riku stayed the night, his mother to be called in the morning. They hugged each other close that night.   
  
Sora felt Riku’s chin on his head and he had breathed in, red-rimmed eyes slowly slipping into a slumber that only Riku could give him. He had hugged Riku closer, and Riku kissed his hair quickly, making sure Sora wouldn’t see his face. He hadn’t needed to. Sora felt Riku’s shaky breaths even in sleep.  
  
Riku went back to his mother’s the next day. He kissed him before he left and Sora spent the Saturday morning torn and yet complete. He loved Riku, he knew he did, and he knew Riku felt the same. That nothing would change that.  
  
And nothing did.  
  
No matter how many times Riku’s mother tried to keep them apart, they’d always find a way. School became a sanctuary, the treasured place. And then Riku got a car, a present from his never present father. That also became a treasured place—before classes and after, with more messy uniforms, frantic kissing like it could be their last, and cuddles that watched over the football field. Sora would grin almost stupidly on Riku’s lap, seeing the other team take a loss and Riku breathed him in close with a small smile, arms hugging around his waist.  
  
Mid senior year and Riku got his own place. In between illegal part time jobs for minors, he saved up. Then he turned eighteen, getting a flat closer to the city and more at the edge of town. Sora couldn’t believe it. His dad didn’t question it when winter break came and Sora had packed a bag. He’d been always supportive.  
  
For Sora’s first night there, Riku asked him, offhandedly, if he’d ever want to get married. Sora could only blink under Christmas lights and in his ugly sweater, his mouth hanging open as Riku kissed the corner of his lips, neverminding the question away. He wanted to answer, but he never got to. Kairi had texted his cell, asking where was he spending Christmas.  
  
‘Where else?’ He had typed.  
  
They made love for the first time that night. Sora had wanted to be in control, so Riku let him, nervous himself. He was laying down, and Sora, lowering himself onto him after months’ of preparation—  
  
Riku was so in love with him, he couldn’t even hold it at the sight.   
  
Sora laughed, and Riku had whacked him with a pillow, embarrassed. They tried it again though, after more giggles, Riku giving him love bites in retaliation and Sora loving it all too much.   
  
And it’d been magical.  
  
Winter break left and quickly, the end of senior year. They graduated, kissing each other deeply as caps danced in the air above them. Kairi took a picture, with behind them Roxas and Xion laughing in the high of it all.)

  
  
⨳

  
  
Riku’s clothes were gone.  
  
He had flipped everything, ran up and down the stairs, ran to the backyard, and it took him a moment, in his maddened daze, to realize Riku’s cat was missing as well. Not even her bowl was left. Sora could only numbly walk to the picture right to wall and lift it off, staring at it in his hands.  
  
Sora stared hard at it, his eyes full and wet as he watched the frame tremble in his fingers.  
  
Confetti, graduation caps, Riku’s smile, the scent of his cologne Kairi had told him to buy, just to impress Sora, Riku’s warm hands, bringing his face in for a deep kiss, and Sora, doing the very same, grinning cheesily, just as he saw the flash of a camera through his lids—  
  
His heart kicked hard, and Sora shut his eyes, feeling the dread become grief.  


⨳

  
  
The police were called. Sora could only numbly sit on the couch as they searched the house top to bottom. (Kairi had come and had his hand in hers, rubbing it in comfort. He only said a sentence to her, that Riku was gone, and she had looked as if she didn’t understand it. Then the police came, and she had opened the door, shocked, as Sora sat there. _You’re actually serious_ , she had told him, _he’s really missing_ , and he had looked to her, dull-eyed, before telling the police everything.)  
  
It was after that, that they left them on the couch to search the house. Sora felt like his stomach had been kicked in and so he couldn’t speak anymore, not without a cry threatening to rise in his throat. Kairi was quiet by him, and Sora knew more than anyone she was scrambling her thoughts, trying to find any possible answer to explain this, and, either way, he also knew she wouldn’t share it with him just yet. Kairi had never seen him this way and he knew it scared her. He hadn’t bothered to remain calm or find some optimism. It was hard to, especially when you felt something like this was going to happen.  
  
The police eventually all regrouped and came to them again. Asked Sora questions about Riku’s family, what was their personal information and Sora shook his head, saying Riku had been estranged from both. The police still wanted to contact them, and Sora, helpless, offered the address of Riku’s mother, if she still lived there. The police nodded, looking around before saying they’d keep in touch and then they left.  
  
Sora’s face was buried in palms and Kairi was rubbing his back now, telling him _maybe you’re being a bit dramatic, Sora_ — _maybe he’s okay_ , and he had to hide his face for her to finally say what hung her mind.  
  
“He’s never done this,” He mumbled, “He’d never pack up and go somewhere without telling me—”  
  
“But what if he did? Remember junior year, when he ran away?”  
  
“That was when he was living with his mom, Kairi.” Sora’s voice was hoarse and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to find some sort of stability, “Riku is fine now. Everything is fine. He wouldn’t need to do that now.”  
  
Kairi continued frown at him, and even though he wasn’t looking at her, he felt it.  


⨳

  
  
She near dragged him to her house, right after stopping to his dad to pick up some clothes. Sora let him know what was happening, quietly, but he found that he couldn’t finish. Kairi continued from where he cut himself off, just as he limply went up to his room to collect clothes. It’d be not okay for Sora to be alone, Kairi was telling his father. Being the workaholic that he was, he didn’t give Sora any further grief against the idea. He gave his promise of prayer that he hoped Riku would be safely found and gave Sora a hug goodbye. Sora felt empty, hugging back in an automatic fashion. He ignored Kairi’s concerned eyes at him the whole train ride to her apartment.  
  
When they got there, Roxas had opened the door, wide-eyed and already ushering Sora close. Xion was in the living room, already setting up a mattress. Sora barely smiled at her, his eyes prickly at the salt as he watched her cross over to him for a hug. Everyone then walked up to him; Kairi from behind, Roxas at his side and Xion at his front. They all gave him a tight embrace and murmurs of _he’ll come home, don’t worry, Sora_ , filtered to his ears.  
  
For one more time that day, Sora found the tears finding a way to spill. And this time, it burned. Like alcohol on a fresh scrape.  


⨳

  
  
Summer came by and went.  
  
The police never did come or call back. At the station, Sora had been either ignored or given false promise, that there was a team working on the missing person case. But there was nothing. Riku’s mother had in fact moved and was no longer even living in the state. No one knew where she was, or even Riku’s father for that matter.   
  
Sora went to Riku’s place countless times in the days and nights, even through the humidity of summer rains. The grass on the lawn and backyard overgrew as the weeks rolled to months, and Sora couldn’t find it in himself to do any tidying. He would just be in the house, pulling drawers open, flipping through the pages of books, poking head in closets—looking for anything, just anything for a clue. And Riku’s phone—it had always went to voicemail as it’s been that first day.  
  
Sora also never returned back home. He slept in Kairi’s house, which was more Xion and Roxas’ as well. It was the company he needed, to fill the silence that was too loud in his head when he’d sit and stare into nothing. He hadn’t been blind to the fact that his friends were trying extra hard to distract him with anything they could, and it almost bordered on give-all when Roxas randomly asked Sora if he wanted to help him dye his hair brown, to style it just as his so they could see if they really looked alike as people would often say. 

Sora’s answer to Roxas was merely a head shake and after a moment or two later, he’d gotten up, leaving the apartment for air.  
  
He, again, hadn’t been blind to notice Roxas’ face, visibly at a loss, and Sora, for the first time, found himself not caring in the slightest.  


  
⨳

  
  
Sora looked and acted different nowadays.  
  
He wasn’t cheerful, or the optimistic radiant person he had been most of his life. He’d be the first to admit that he knew he changed. There was nobody to tell him that he didn't recognize the person staring right back at him in the mirror. He knew under his eyes there was gray, his wet layered hair had grown a bit longer at the back, now reaching his collarbone, and that his skin had become a pale tan, with just a bare hint of sickly flush that came with the lack of sleep and all. Sora stared back at himself blankly, azure eyes still vibrant, even in the humid bathroom with shower steam.

All he could think about was Riku. There was just no one or nothing else to think about, and so he didn’t have the time to groom or take care of himself. Why bother.  
  
Sora felt the towel around his waist begin to slowly unravel, and so he reached to give it a grip. At some point, when his thoughts about Riku tended to linger to their intimacies, he’d feel his body react. Missing the touch, the kisses, the firm embraces that promised easy and all. Sora winced slightly, lips parting. It was his hardness had made the towel knot begin to loosen.   
  
It felt good, the heat and pulsations, but emotionally…he couldn’t do it.  
  
He counted to ten nowadays, not giving it attention, and especially today, he didn’t have time to.  
  
It was his first day of university.

  
  
⨳

The approaching autumn season wasn’t shy to start early. Sora sniffed, hair still some wet with a chilly breeze sweeping by as he approached the building of his many classes. He had still not known what he wanted to do yet, so his major was liberal arts. Riku had chosen the same and their classes had been matched together, with only two at differing time slots. It hurt to remember all of that, but Sora did it anyway. Thinking of Riku always did him good, just as bad.  
  
The building smelled like old books and fresh construction, despite it looking rather old and gothic. The smell reminded him of his high school, comforting any nerves he felt since he walked on campus. Sora let the familiarity sit with him as he walked to his class for the afternoon.   
  
After two classes breezed by with a nap in between and after, his groggy eyes winced, still much bleary and annoyed at the fact that he wasn’t home free yet. Sora squinted at his class schedule, scrolling down at his phone with a grimace. He had one class left and it was almost five in the afternoon. He’d gotten here at ten, nearly the whole day gone now. It was only the first day, but when was it ever too early to say he already hated college?  
  
He slung his bookbag over his shoulder after a stretch, silently deciding to go to use the bathroom. It was right by his next class. Sora took a chance to poke his head in the still somewhat empty classroom, noting how large and wide it was, before walking up the stairs to the last row of desks. It was his only lecture class and he’d like to take advantage at being at the back row as much as possible. Shrugging his bookbag off and placing it on the chair, Sora went back down and left for the bathroom, seat claimed.  
  
He washed his face, stared at himself after for a couple of moments and found that he indeed needed a haircut. Sora jutted his bottom lip at himself, almost as if skeptical that he would care enough. He was fine as he was, and he didn’t have any time to worry about his hair anyway. In between university and…  
  
Sora took a breath, dropping his eyes to the sink. He bit his lip, tightening the grip he had on it. His throat. It felt raw, burning, all so suddenly. He couldn’t think about Riku. How many times had this happened today already?  
  
After he counted to ten, Sora quickly walked out of the bathroom, not wanting to be tempted to let it all out. Not there, not here, wherever. .  
  
He walked into his class tentatively, eyes shifting at the now fuller classroom. This class had more students than all his other classes combined and it made sense. A wide lecture room like this and the course slightly being a bit sought after since not many professors taught it made it this way. Sora found himself not complaining, just a bit off guard. He bit the inside of his cheek, noticing some casual looks his way among the chatter and flow of his new classmates. He trudged up the stairs, the carpet on them a distracting sight of bright blue and yellows, and Sora let his eyes stay downcast to avoid any more eye meets.  
  
When he reached his row, he noticed there was a messenger bag at the seat just entering it, which was right by his. He raised a brow, also noticing the rest of the row was empty, so why would a person pick a seat next to his of all places?  
  
Sora bit the inside of his cheek again, miffed.  
  
He sat down, bookbag now on his lap as he took his notebook and pens out. He was considering to move, but what if a person had put their bag there just cause? Maybe seeing Sora there would make them move? He could only hope so. Sora went on to answer some of Kairi’s texts and then absently doodle in his notebook. Class was starting in just a minute or so, maybe he should be writing the heading instead…  
  
There was slight push of air. It had lifted up Sora’s notebook page as he paused, looking to his side. The owner of the bag had just arrived, sitting down right next to him instead of moving like he’d hoped—  
  
Sora felt his mouth go dry as his classmate locked eyes with him casually. And the professor came in, her voice loud as it rebounded off the wide walls of the room.   
  
One eye was crimson, the other a soft blue. He stared at Sora like he was looking straight into him, and he raised a brow, slightly.  
  
“You look pale,” His voice was deeper, flat. “Are you alright?”  
  
Sora was terrified. He could only shake his head, eyes impossibly wide. His words were stuck in his throat and his heart was beating harshly in his chest. He felt dizzy.  
  
The classmate took a breath. “Hey,” he muttered, suddenly, “If you’re about to have a panic attack in class, I suggest you don’t.”  
  
“Riku?” Sora inched close looking very much panicked, “You—it’s, where have you been? Your eyes—"  
  
“Riku?” The classmate went still and stared at Sora for a moment. Sora watched him, feeling many things all at once and he swallowed, seeing him tilt his head. “I don’t know who that is.” He finally said, and then quietly, "I'm Yozora.”   
  
Sora blinked almost pathetically. “What?”  
  
“I think you’re confusing me for someone else,” Yozora looked away from him and to the front of the class, “I don’t know who you just mistook me for, but I’m not him. Sorry.”  
  
“But—” Sora couldn’t even fathom the possibility, quickly shooting a furtive glance at their professor, seeing she was focused on setting up the projector, and he swallowed, shifting closer in his seat, “Listen, I spent all summer looking for you, wondering where’d you go, if you were even—”  
  
“Stop.”  
  
His voice was so different. Commanding and stern.  
  
Sora stared in helpless wonder as Yozora trailed his eyes to him, impassive.   
  
“I told you him I’m not who you think I am. I don’t want to repeat it again.”  
  
“You can’t not be.” It was quicker out his mouth. “Riku—” Sora was close enough to reach, taking a hold of Yozora’s arm, “Please. You’re acting so weird, I don’t know what to do—”  
  
His hand was shoved off and Sora’s eyes widened a fraction, his heart stilling for a moment in his chest. Cool heterochromatic eyes stared him down as Yozora had got up, collecting his belongings.   
  
“I’m moving,” His deep baritone was rich even as a mutter, “You should go to the nurse’s office.”  
  
He turned and walked down the rows of desks, moving way into the front.   
  
Sora watched him go, stunned.

  
  
⨳

  
For the entirety of the class, Sora hadn’t kept still. He’d been trembling as waves of shock and relief finally hit him through watery eyes and bitten lips. He wanted so badly to run down, pull Riku out of class and snap sense to him. To yell at him for whatever stupid game he was playing, that’d he’d been worried sick, but all he could do was stare at the back of his head, seeing those familiar silver tufts that he’d just wanted to run his fingers through. He wanted to kiss him, hug him tight and tell him to take him back home, his home, because it’d been too long—  
  
The class was over by the time Sora finally resolved to figure out exactly what to do.  
  
He threw his notebook inside his bag quickly as the class shuffled, getting up from their seats. His eyes were on Riku, who was just getting up himself. Sora didn’t think twice, bolting out of his empty row and quickly moving past his classmates to get through.  
  
Rich heterochromatic eyes were on him the second Sora reached his side.   
  
“Hey—”  
  
“You again.” Yozora said immediately, “I already told you.”  
  
“When are you going to stop, huh?” Sora felt himself slip into an automatic pout, one that worked every time when Riku was being mean, “Whatever it is I did, you don’t have to get mad at me like this, okay? I get it, I’m sorry.”  
  
Yozora just stared. Sora met his eyes equally, narrowing them a bit as he deepened his pout.   
  
“That face you have,” Yozora finally said, “It’s weird.”  
  
Sora paused, perking up a little. Weird? And why was Riku speaking like that?

“Your voice is weird,” Sora sighed, putting a hand on his hip, “And your eyes are different colors now. What did you do exactly, at wherever you went, and even your hair, Riku, it’s a little more—”  
  
“You’re sounding like a real obsessive,” Yozora said calmly, though he raised both his brows, “I told you I won’t repeat it again. Whoever that is—that isn’t me. My name,” He reached out a hand for Sora to take, “is Yozora.”  
  
Sora just blinked at him before looking down at it. 

“If you don’t believe me, I have ways to prove it to you. Not interested? Then I’ll be on my way.” Sora took his hand before he could drop it and goosebumps ran through him as Yozora gave him a squeeze. His hand was cold. “Did you hear me?”  
  
“I did…” Sora said, “I did.”  
  
Didn’t mean he understood though.   
  
Yozora sighed, noticing as much and shook his head. “I hope you find it is who you’re looking for.”  
  
He let go of Sora’s hand and it stayed in the air.  
  
Yozora gave him a one more glance before walking past him, going down of what was left of the stairs. Sora stood still, not realizing the classroom had all been emptied and he was standing there alone.

⨳

  
  
He didn’t tell Kairi, or Roxas, or Xion.  
  
He couldn’t bring himself to. He came to Kairi’s apartment, distant, looking ahead and also nowhere. His book bag slipped to the ground just as he walked up to his bed, letting his body fall forward with a flat thud. There was nothing that would explain his feelings. It wouldn’t be enough.   
  
There was a slight breeze from the living room window that danced at his skin, sparking and cooling the wetness of his cheeks. He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying. It was sort of on automatic these days. Sora didn’t much understand it, or of anything anymore for matter.  
  
Yozora, he said his name was. Riku. Whatever.  
  
His eyelids fluttered, feeling his skin flash hotly. He just missed him so much. It was getting past the point of unbearable, not only taking a toll on him emotionally, but physically, because to see him in the flesh all over again, after so long— Sora scrunched his eyes shut, remembering the feel of that cold calloused hand squeezing his.   
  
Riku’s hand had always been warm.  


⨳

  
He had that class only once a week, which was rare for a lecture type course and Sora hated the fact that the week couldn’t go by sooner. He looked antsy apparently, to the much of the bemusement of his friends. They took it as excitement for his classes, that maybe he’d gotten himself interested in something, something other than...  
  
Sora let them believe that. He didn’t want them to worry much anymore.  
  
He tried to busy himself with homework, helping Kairi around the house and tidying it up for the upcoming fall and winter season. He eventually did take Roxas’ offer to dye his hair brown, to which he might’ve earned a total avoidance from Roxas for the rest of his life (fun fact: Sora didn’t know how to dye hair), and Xion, well, she’d wanted to do something special for him, and he let her, though reluctantly. It was Saturday when she took him to an adoption center for cats, offering up a kitten for him to pick up. The kitten looked so much like Riku’s and yet so different. Sora couldn’t help but sit on his knees, accepting the kitten in his hands, nuzzling her whiskered cheeks with all the love he could muster at the moment.  
  
“You’re adorable,” he said, laughing a bit, “Yes you are. Only you.”   
  
He took her home, naming her Night.   


⨳

  
  
When Monday finally rolled around, the anxiety had nearly bitten a chunk out of him. He knew he looked worse for wear; he couldn’t sleep (Night staying awake with him helped the sad thoughts), and Sora looked more fluffed than usual. His hair with it’s traditional spikes now curled very slightly at their ends, more so where it grew long. He stared at himself once again at the bathroom mirror, Night looking up at him from the toilet seat. Maybe he should cut it, just get to done with it. Riku would say something if he’d seen him like this.  
  
But Riku wasn’t here. And that guy wasn’t him, was he?  
  
Through the week and over the weekend, Sora had stayed mostly quiet, his thoughts going through over and over like a VCR rewinding a tape, of what exactly what happened that last Monday. The guy's name was Yozora, and although he looked extremely of Riku, he was anything but, right?   
  
That’s what he kept asking himself...and he couldn’t answer it. Sora would just fist his hair in silent frustration at the stuck thoughts—his watery blue eyes that Kairi would seem to always catch at the wrong time. He’d promise her, _I’m okay. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I just miss him, is all._ And she’d sit by him, resting her head on his shoulder and promising him things she had no business promising. That’d it all work out. That she felt Riku was fine.  
  
Sora resisted the urge to get cynical with her, biting his tongue down instead.  
  
So now it was Monday morning. Roxas’ light snores were coming from the living room (he’d slept with Sora to keep him company, though it was more for him playing with Night than anything else), and Kairi and Xion had already left, heading to their university separate from Sora’s. He stared hard at himself, watching his eye bags tense slightly and his nose flare a bit.   
  
He wanted to see Riku...Yozora. Whoever he was. Ask him for that proof he’d offered to show and maybe talk. Sora was a talker, so he could do it. He swallowed, anxiety nipping at him.  
  
Beside him, Night let out a tiny meow, almost affirming to him that he’d be fine. 

  
⨳

  
Sora locked eyes with him as soon as he stepped in the classroom. He was sitting at the front again, having all abandoned the idea of sitting next to Sora it seemed. Something in that sneaking realization made Sora deflate and cut their eye contact, not before catching Yozora’s slight brow raise of surprise.   
  
It was still a few minutes before the lesson started, the professor nowhere in sight. Sora sat down at his same seat, fighting every nerve to not look at the back of his head. Sora quickly found out he couldn’t help himself. Even from the back, he looked like Riku in absolutely every single way— it almost seemed like this was a cruel joke. Sora watched Yozora suddenly shift, the blades of his shoulders tensing, and Sora averted his eyes, giving the blank page of his notebook his utmost attention. 

A minute passed or so and that urge to look up and stare again had him nibbling at his bottom lip. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.  
  
“You.” A deep voice spoke over him. It wasn’t Riku’s and yet...  
  
Sora looked up and met those different colored eyes looking right back at him. Yozora had came up to his row.  
  
“Believe me yet?”  
  
Sora was still for a moment before he carefully shook his head.  
  
“No. I don’t know. I wanted to ask you, for....“  
  
“Proof.”  
  
“...Yeah.”  
  
Yozora breathed through his nose, sweeping a look through the classroom. It was already time for class to begin and the professor still hadn’t showed. Sora felt himself perspire a bit at their proximity; it was like Riku was right next to him and he couldn’t touch him.  
  
“I’ll show it to you,” Yozora said, shifting to sit and reclaim his first seat, “Though I don’t owe it to you—it’s the fact that you look like a beaten down dog.”  
  
Sora, visibly startled at the fact he was sitting next to him again, could only nod distractedly. Yozora watched him for a second before he allowed himself the barest hint of a smile.  
  
“Huh?” Sora finally said. “I didn’t hear you, sorry.”  
  
Yozora shook his head, neverminding it and shifted to dig in his pocket. “Proof. Here it is.” He pulled out his university ID and a regular state ID, outstretching them for Sora to take. Sora took it gingerly in his hands with a mute expression.  
  
He looked slightly more different than Riku in his IDs. His face was only a bit more fuller, cheekbones and jaw more sharper. Sora threw Yozora a furtive glance only to see he actually looked just like his pictures shown—and that Sora had been missing the small details, filling them in with Riku’s features. Yozora blinked calmly at him, his cheek resting on his knuckles and Sora looked back down at the IDs, seeing his name printed on them, his date of birth, even his address. Sora found a sensation then creeping up at him, prompting him to hand over the IDs without a word.  
  
He felt ridiculous, like a total fool.  
  
Yozora took them in the same quiet, but kept his eyes on Sora, waiting for him to say something. And what could he say? That Yozora was right in being who he was? _Himself?_ The fact that Sora drove another person to do such a thing like this, when they didn’t need to…he bit his bottom lip, looking to the side.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, quietly, “I just…you look so much like him, it was hard to not—”  
  
“It’s fine.” Yozora said. “It doesn’t matter to me that much.”  
  
Sora lifted his eyes and caught Yozora still watching him. The scrutiny was unmeasured, as if Yozora was thoroughly taking his time to study him top to bottom. It made Sora’s breath catch in his throat.  
  
“Wha—what?”  
  
“They seem pretty special to you. That person.”  
  
Sora shrank a little before giving a careful nod. “They are.”  
  
Yozora smiled at that, and as quickly as Sora had saw it, he ducked his head, hiding the smile into his knuckle.  
  
“Professors’ here.” He heard him mutter as he faced away from Sora and looked towards the front of the class. Sora made a small noise of agreement, following suit. He still gave Yozora another careful glance, wondering what that was.  


⨳

  
It was hard not look at him, give him a glance every once and a while. Sora had to bite on his cheek to stop the urge, but he wasn’t perfect. He did it sometimes anyway, catching Yozora’s profile, his sharp jawline, the thin line of his bottom lip as he took notes in concentration. Sora even had the perfect excuse to look at him then, when the professor had asked the class a question and Yozora had answered. He’d just never get over it, Sora realized. Yozora looked too much like Riku, despite their some physical differences and albeit personality. It was a lot to stomach still, to take in. He wondered truly _if_ he would ever get used to it.  
  
By the end of class and a run of mental gymnastics, Sora had a headache and felt exhausted.  
  
Yozora was already up, slinging on his messenger bag and Sora got up with him, quiet. They walked down the wide steps as their classmates still stuck around, clamoring around the professor for after-class questions. Sora tried to not make it obvious, but as they both left the classroom together with him still behind Yozora, it became pretty apparent that he wanted to not exactly part yet.  
  
Yozora noticed easily enough.  
  
“Yeah?” He turned, Sora almost bumping into him.   
  
“Oh, um.”  
  
“You want more proof?”  
  
“No,” Sora frowned, weirdly looking embarrassed now at the idea, “I just, well, you live at Destiny I noticed.”  
  
Yozora kept his gaze impassive. “And?”  
  
“Well, I’m from that part of town,” Sora gave a nervous laugh, “It’s where I grew up. How come I never seen you around?”  
  
“I just moved there a month ago.” Yozora said. “And I’m not from town. I’m from the city.”  
  
Sora blinked, quickly understanding. “Right, that makes sense. I totally would’ve noticed if I seen someone like you before...”  
  
“Someone like me?” Yozora curved the corner of his lip. Sora shook his head in alarm.  
  
“I didn’t mean it like that."  
  
“You mean someone that looks like your friend.”   
  
Sora stilled before giving him tired eyes. “Well, yeah. You look a lot like him.”  
  
“There was emphasis there I just heard.”  
  
“A _lot._ ” Sora repeated, brows high.  
  
Yozora pursed his lips at that before turning back around again and resuming his walk. “Let’s move.”  
  
Sora blinked. Move? “Uh, where?”  
  
Yozora didn’t even look back at him as he followed. “Out the way?” he said.   
  
Sora might’ve felt his cheeks burn, might’ve not, who was paying attention—and so he stayed silent, walkingby Yozora’s side this time as they left the hallway to the outside of the building, heading towards the exit of campus. It was seven by now, dusk approaching and the sun setting with a burnt orange.  
  
Silver streaked with yellow. A tallness right by his side, colored in the hues of the beautiful evening. Sora was feeling a lot all the sudden. If he just closed his eyes, he’d be walking side by side with—  
  
“I got something to do.” Yozora’s deep voice cut through his thoughts. “So I’ll catch you later.”  
  
Sora could only blink at him, disorientated. “Oh. Okay.”  
  
Yozora gave a head nod and walked ahead, giving Sora a second to watch how even the way they walked was so similar. He felt a burn start up in his throat, and he clenched his jaw, eyes narrowing at the ache. Not now. He was not about to cry right now.  
  
Yozora stopped suddenly and turned, lifting all of Sora’s tenseness. Kashmir blue and crimson eyes met his own and Sora felt for a second he was imagined the warmness behind them.  
  
“I never got your name.” Yozora said, just a few feet away. “You never told me.”  
  
Sora could only try to breathe. “So—Sora..”  
  
“Sora.” Yozora repeated, nodding. “Then, I’ll see you, Sora.” He gave him another nod and continued on his way, giving Sora his back once more.  
  
Sora could only stay still, his automatic wave goodbye frozen in the air.

  
⨳

  
  
Weeks go by fast when you’re not keeping track of what you’re waiting for, and admittedly, he’d learn to do that the hard way. Had to grit his teeth and avoid looking at the calendar, at the days going by, but still, he’d learned. Though it still wasn’t easy.  
  
Yozora watched Magia and Aegis practice, their wooden swords and shields clattering to the floor and being picked up in seconds—Aegis muttering a small curse and Magia laughing through it all, unashamed and unfaltering. Yozora took a breath, still reeling from the practice himself.   
  
“It’s late,” he said, loud enough for them to hear, “And we have classes in the morning.”  
  
“Since when is five in the afternoon late for you?” Magia ducked away from a jab and earning a hiss from Aegis. “We started like an hour ago.”  
  
“He’s not in the mood today.” Aegis gruffed, blocking Magia’s counter. “Aren’t you, Yozora?”  
  
“Perceptive! But, bet you can’t see this coming!”   
  
Yozora could only watch unblinkingly as Aegis did in fact see Magia’s wooden sword coming, and try to swoop in and attempt to hit his side; he had simply took a step to the right, hitting Magia square in his stomach.  
  
“I, in fact, did.” Aegis pushed up his glasses, ignoring much of Magia’s current groaning. “Yozora.”  
  
“...Yeah?”  
  
“Well?”  
  
Yozora was quiet for a moment, letting his shoulders slag only slightly. “The coursework. I just need to study.”  
  
“Really—“  
  
“Why do you take it so seriously?” Magia whined, sitting up and still very much nursing his stomach, “We’re not doing that university forever.”  
  
Aegis shot a look at him that bordered in disappointment and disgust. “We still transfer with the grades given. Have you forgotten?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Yozora stared back at them both, used to the semantics.   
  
“Well, okay, yeah,” Magia shrugged, “But so what. You don’t need perfect grades, Yozora.”  
  
“I don’t think that’s what’s on his mind.”   
  
Yozora slid his eyes over to Aegis, expression mute. “Hm?”  
  
Aegis stared back calmly, almost waiting and Magia blinked before squinting in weird subdued glee.   
  
“He found a cute girl.” Magia didn’t even hesitate, all twinkly-eyed, and hurting stomach all gone. “I so bet that’s what it is! Aegis, you owe me twenty bucks if I’m right.”  
  
Yozora rolled his eyes, looking off to the side and Magia nearly doubled, eyes wide.   
  
“Holy shi—Aegis, you heard me wrong, I meant forty.”  
  
“You say it like I’m going to give it to you.” Aegis sighed.  
  
“Well, one of us has to be fair!”   
  
Yozora pursed his lips, still quietly looking away. He felt discomforted. Aegis sensed as much.  
  
“No, really,” he said, walking over, “What is it?”   
  
Yozora shook his head. It was insignificant. Just a small thing, mulling over in his mind. Some days it came up, some days it didn’t. It wasn’t helping that tomorrow he was going to see him.  
  
“I,” he began, tentative, “Apparently look like someone. A lot.”  
  
He felt Magia’s blinking before he looked up and saw it. Aegis was knitting his brows.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Who said?”  
  
“This guy did.” Yozora said. “In one of my classes. He mistook me for him.”  
  
Magia scrunched his lips. “You look like him that much?”  
  
“And that’s what has you in a mood?” Aegis crossed his arms. “Is that really all?”  
  
“Does the guy have a name? Maybe he’s in one of my classes!” Magia grinned. “I wanna see who he’s talking about.”  
  
“The lengths you go—“  
  
“Sora.” Yozora murmured, and then he looked at Magia smiling slightly, almost amused. “He seems a bit extra, like you.”  
  
“Sora...can’t say that name rings a bell—hey, I caught that.”  


⨳

  
  
It was the small details.

Yozora had a tiny dot earring on both of his ears. They glinted when the sun streamed in their classroom, making Sora squint. It wasn’t the first he’d notice them, but the sun served to remind him that they were there from time to time. Yozora would look at him with question, tilting his head, and there it was, another instance of a small detail; Yozora had an ombre look with his hair. His roots were a dark navy and then gradient to the silver it was. Sora didn’t understand how’d he miss it the first time. Figured it had something to do with Yozora’s overwhelming facial features being so similar to _him_ and how it muted almost everything.

Oh, he’d been caught staring again.

Yozora was once again looking at him, now suspicious. His eyes were something Sora couldn’t find himself looking away from. 

“If it’s my face that’s interesting,” Yozora spoke, after a while, “You can stare it after class, not during the lecture.”

Sora smiled shyly at him, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to, honest.”

It was the small details that had distracted him.

  
  


⨳

The days passed like a dream, and not in the good sense. They went by fast, with in between trying to study and letting the homework distract him and his friends filling up his space and time. Sora looked to Roxas, seeing him look up to his hair, now fixed and colored back to its original shade. They had just left the salon.

“Feels good to be home,” Roxas said, “I feel like myself again already.”

“It was just hair dye,” Sora walked at his side, “We didn’t even do the other part of your promise, remember?”

“Hey. The things I do for you, don’t remind me.”

Sora smiled and Roxas shook his head, quirking up his lip. “Where to next?”

“Kairi said we needed groceries, and I’m kinda starving.”

“Aren’t you always?”

They walked in the quiet street, the distant sounds of children playing at the park nearby, cars and their engines humming as they waited for a red light. The day was cool and cloudy, making an overcast, and Sora shoved his hands in his jacket’s pockets, feeling the wind chill.

“Hey,” Roxas said. “How you been holding up?”

It was bound to be brought up sooner than later. Sora felt a sigh leave him before he could hold it in. “...Not so bad, I think.”

“You know we’re here, right? Me, Xion...Kairi…”

“Yeah...”

“Night, too.”

“I’nno.” 

And this sort of conversation always stopped here. Sora felt guilty for always making sure it did, because he didn’t vouch to say anything further. He didn’t want to talk about Riku and not because he hated the idea of it. He was just tired of crying or constantly having an achy throat, trying to hold it in.

Roxas seemed to notice that well enough, like he had been for the past few months. He let the topic go, opting to talk about what they were going to get instead. It made Sora drop his guard, smile a little easier. He had plenty of time to talk about Riku, but he wanted to decide when.

When they reached the market, it was moderately packed as it could be for a Saturday. Roxas pushed a basket into his hands before Sora could go and get a cart, and he was reminded that they didn’t have much to spend anyway, what with Sora’s small stipend and Roxas’ weekly paycheck. It made Sora pout and Roxas smirk, muttering something about him not being lazy and getting a job again. 

Sora was definitely not in the right headspace for it and they knew it. Still, it made them both laugh a bit and go into a back and forth battle of teasing. It wasn’t any surprise that they failed to catch a familiar redhead towering over them, exchanging them looks.

“No, no,” Axel said, “I’ll just wait for you two notice me. I’m only standing here for my health.” 

Roxas and Sora stopped talking, both smiles in tow.

“Hey, Axel.” They said almost over each other. 

“Hey, don’t copy me.” 

“All I did was say hello.” 

“Guys—“ Axel watched them both blink simultaneously, “You know what? Nevermind. How ya been?”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

The elephant quickly took seat in the room, except it was really in the canned food aisle, and Roxas was already trying to be telepathic and tell Axel to find something else to talk about, anything but that. Axel being Axel, squinted, pretended he didn’t know what Roxas’ wide eyes were saying, so he opened his mouth, knitting his brows in concern.

“Hey, Sora. About—“

“Axel, don’t—“

“—that game I sort of borrowed.”

Sora blinked, watching Roxas near about to tackle Axel, and Axel looking down at him too innocently. 

“I’m gonna go get some fruits.” Is all he said, and turned around, leaving them and the suddenly murderous air that filtered the aisle. He wasn’t stupid, and he also knew that Axel wouldn’t go there; the guy was one of the first to give him space, a text with a promise of needing anything, that he’d help. Roxas liked to overprotect him and Sora got that, but still. Being with those two made awkwardness prick at his skin.

He calmly entered to fruit side of the market, taking in the tropical smells. He looked around, slightly overwhelmed on what to take until,

“Yozora?” He breathed, seeing him further down. He was with someone and he looked annoyed at them. A person with glasses, and they looked very much annoyed themselves. Sora took a few automatic steps back, not wanting to be noticed.

“The renovation isn’t done yet,” Aegis was saying, terse, “and he still wants to go on ahead early.”

“He’ll be going to his parents, what’s the issue?” Yozora’s deep timbre made Sora catch his breath, his eyes still.

“You know he’ll get too comfortable and not move in back with us. Our rent is higher now because he’s on the lease, Yozora.”

“Then I’ll take an extra job when we get back. It’s not a problem.”

Aegis shut his eyes, exhaling. “You’re always enabling him.”

What were they even talking about? Sora threw a furtive glance their way, seeing Yozora cross his arms. The guy in the glasses looked disappointed. 

“I can’t control Magia, Aegis.” Yozora said, sounding tired. “He does what he does.”

“You don’t control him, I get that, but you know how you influence him.”

Yozora only gave him a subtle shrug, looking away. “I’ll speak to him later, when he comes from class. I can’t promise you anything.” 

Aegis looked now slightly better at the promise. “I’m going to be late. Meet with me tomorrow?” 

Yozora nodded at him, throwing in an apple in the basket by his feet. “Yeah. See ya.”

Sora nearly jumped, the guy with glasses leaving towards his way. He quickly gave him his back, making himself appear busy with apples. It didn’t take a moment before he was walked past and Sora breathed a bit easier.

“Stalking me now?” Yozora said over his shoulder.

Not exactly home free, was he?

Sora slowly turned with a quick smile. “Oh, hey—“

“I saw you the second you walked in the aisle,” Yozora cocked a brow at him, “And when you were trying to hide—“

“Okay, okay, okay,” Sora waved his hands, “I get the picture. I’m not stalking you despite how it looks like.”

“Well, I _was_ kidding.”

Sora’s cheeks grew a bit pink. “What are you even doing at this part of town? I thought you said you lived in Destiny.”

“So I can’t go shop anywhere else?” 

Sora pouted, noticing Yozora’s teasing eyes. “Not what I meant.”

“Figured.”

A moment of quiet lapsed over them. Sora looked off the side, a hand nursing his arm in comfort. He felt kind of awkward, but it was another feeling that made him feel more off than anything. He felt happy to see Yozora, like real, real happy. Only it was butterflies in your stomach kind of happy and he didn’t know what to do with that. Sora missed Yozora’s bemused look at him.

“You look mad that I interrupted your stalking.” He said.

Sora pulled an exaggerated face, quickly raising his shopping basket. “Hey! Some people go to the market to shop too, y’know!”

“Thought you lived at Destiny,” Yozora said with taunt. “So _ra_.”

“Well, I temporarily moved, Yo _zora_.” 

Yozora let out a light laugh and Sora was smiling, feeling lighter. It felt nice, whatever they were doing. 

“So,” he began to say, “Was that your friend?”

Yozora nodded, going to his side now as Sora began to walk. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You found your friend yet?”

Sora stopped, his eyes still on Yozora’s calm expression. There was subtle curiosity in his eyes, like he didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he wanted to know. Sora swallowed. 

“Uh, no. No, I—we haven’t found him yet.”

To talk about Riku with Riku’s face...Sora wanted to tell him maybe this wasn’t it. Because it wasn’t easy for him, still, to separate them. 

Yozora cocked his head, “Sounds like they just aren’t trying to find you.” 

And that hit him in the gut. It really did.

Sora parted his lips, feeling something heavy hit his chest. His mouth dried up and his throat shut as he stared at him. 

“What...What makes you say that?”

Yozora shrugged, continuing to walk. “I don’t know, maybe a hunch? People are weird sometimes.”

Sora stayed rooted to where he was, eyes unseeing. His mind was blank, but his heart was hammering in his chest. He felt fine a minute ago, and now--and now.

He didn’t even register Yozora picking up a fruit and walking back towards him, dropping it right in the basket in Sora’s hands. The rattle of it made him startle, and he looked down, seeing the waxy shine of the oddly shaped fruit.

“You look like you would like it.” Sora heard him say.

“...Why?”

Yozora snorted. “Because it’s weird, just like you.”

“It just looks like a star.” 

“And it’s a fruit. Think about that.” Sora looked up to meet his eyes and Yozora had a hint of a smile. “I’ll catch you at class?”

“Yeah.”

He didn’t look like Riku too much when he smiled. It made Sora feel better regardless. 

⨳

“You’re looking...happy.” Roxas said after a moment. They were both at checkout, Axel paying for them.

Sora blinked at him before schooling a frown. Roxas sighed. 

“Nevermind, there he goes.”

“Does it look like I would like this?” Sora said, picking up the papou fruit from the belt. He aligned it by his face.

“...The fact that it’s a question.”

“Hey!”

Axel took it from Sora’s hands, handing it over to the cashier to scan. “Same old Sora, asking questions with obvious answers.”

⨳

He was already sitting at his chair when Sora showed up. It was raining today, and Sora, with his overgrown fringe, looked thoroughly like a wet mop. It didn’t help when Yozora looked up from his phone at him, brows slightly raising.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I look bad.”

“No umbrella?”

Sora could pretend that he looked at the forecast earlier this afternoon, but the fact was he hadn’t. Either way, he had figured he would’ve been safe, being in a building all day, but then he got hungry. 

He groaned, rain droplets flying everywhere as he put his head down.

“Did it say it was going to rain?” He mumbled.

“It did.” 

He shut his eyes, feeling a trickle of water roll down his nose. “Wanna go home, I feel so gross.”

Yozora didn’t respond and Sora continued to sit there, soaked to the bone and backpack still on. It was maybe two minutes and still no answer came, so Sora raised his head, shyly fiddling with the cuff of his jacket.

“...What’cha doing?”

“Game.” Yozora said. He was holding his phone horizontally, and Sora took a peek at it, seeing bright flashes and monsters come on the screen.

“What kinda game?”

“You have to save the girl or you lose kinda game.” Yozora was quick with his fingers, thumbing down enemies. 

“Seems fair.” Sora said quietly.

“Right?” Yozora said in a same sort of tone.

Sora watched him play for awhile, the class filling in one by one in front of them. At the sudden spike of voices and loud chatter, Sora took a moment from the screen, cobalt eyes sliding to Yozora’s concentrated features. His thin knitted brows, his crimson eye that he could only see from his profile, his pierced ear and his spiked hair, ombre and almost translucent. Yozora almost always wore black and today was no different

In his daze, Sora watched him thin his lips, trail his eyes to his direction—it took him less than a second to realize though, that once again Yozora caught his stare.

But something felt different. And so, Sora acted differently. 

He pouted, throwing on a side of puppy eyes.

“What?” Was all Yozora could say at his face, his shoulders tense. “What is it?”

“Did you do the homework?” Yozora blinked at him and Sora felt the need to push up the ante. He tilted his head to the side. “I kinda didn’t get it.”

It was quiet for a couple of seconds. Yozara then dropped his eyes to his notebook. He slid it over to Sora’s wet side of the table.

“Oh, um, thanks!”

“Uh-huh.”

He went back to his game, and Sora desperately thanked himself for the quick thinking and homework to copy to boot. Two birds with one stone. Not even Riku was a match for his spare me look, (if that’s what it was).

⨳

When class was over, Sora grabbed at Yozora’s sleeve, right before they would part ways and walk on home. Yozora looked over his shoulder, and then at Sora’s hand.

“Yeah?”

 _You want his phone number_ , Sora thought, his lips shut and mind a puddle of goo. _Just say it._

Yozora shifted, taking his hand off his shoulder and Sora nearly jumped at the coolness of it, snatching it away in his jittery nerves. If Yozora was offended, he didn’t show it.

“You stopped me for a reason.” He said it like a statement.

Sora nodded, and then said simply, “Yeah. Your phone number.” 

It just didn’t sit right with him to ask Yozora for his number. But...they were friends, weren’t they? Why had he suddenly decided to go overthink this? He was looking too deep into it, and he was absolutely sure there wasn’t any kind of boundary he was crossing—

“Give me your phone.” Yozora said calmly, extending a hand.

And Sora did that, just as calmly.

Yozora typed his number in and then saved it for him, giving it back. 

“I’m not going to give you my homework every time,” he said, “If this is what that’s about.” 

Sora shook his head, waving a hand. “No way, of course not. It’s only when I need help.”

Yozora almost glared at him and Sora let an easy smile take him.

“See ya next week?”

“Yeah.” 

⨳

Maybe he didn’t know what was happening. 

And did it matter?

Of course it did. Because he hadn’t really sat down with himself lately to process it all was the reason he felt dislocated like this. Like there was a disconnect somewhere and he let it grow and grow, ignoring it as the weeks stretched on by.

Did he miss _him_? Every second. Was he hurting? Every minute. Did he just want Riku back home, to hug him tight, making sure this time he’d never disappear from his side again? Without a question.

So...why’d he feel guilty?

Sora paused from petting Night, eyes coming off a haze of his inner thoughts. From the corner of his bed his phone had lit up. A text message, at one in the morning. 

He reached for it, Night stubborn on his chest and gnawing on his crown necklace and he let her as he squinted at the brightness, reading through it.

“You took my notebook by accident...” Sora read out loud. He paused, raising a brow, and Night mirrored him, blinking her eyes. And then he remembered: Yozora using another notebook to take notes as Sora took his time copying his answers (he had been trying to pay attention to current lesson at the same time)—and then the class was over and it was automatic for both of them to just shove things in their bags, with not a second thought.

Sora blinked as Night purred on him.

 _Sora 1:23 am_  
i think i did sorry 

⨳

Kairi had been giving him a haircut in the living room. He had on a towel that kept slipping off his shoulders and bits of limp curl ends fell on the ground and onto his lap, making a whole mess. The television on in front of them and the sound of Kairi’s clipping was quiet, so Sora had found himself falling asleep, head lolling forward until Kairi would admonish him, startling him into a sheepish smile.

It was less than five minutes where again he began to fall asleep, but this time the door of the apartment was banged on roughly, startling them both.

“Maybe Roxas and Xion?” Sora offered.

Kairi was already shaking her head, putting the scissors down.

“No, they wouldn’t knock on the door like that.”

And that’s when Sora stood up on his feet, stepping in front of her as he walked over to the door. It shook visibly at more pangs that followed, and Sora, cautious, raised his voice.

“Who is it?”

There was a shuffle. “Police.”

Kairi and him immediately exchanged looks, his being surprised, Kairi not too much. So he opened the door, peeking through. 

It was two detectives, looking at him tiredly.

“Can we come in?” One of them said.

Kairi elbowed Sora’s side and he opened the door wider for them allowing them in. Kairi was quick on the apologies for the mess, that they’d been caught at a bad time and Sora could only stare at the two older men, cobalt eyes wary.

“Is this about Riku?” He asked.

The two of them looked at him, one nodding.

“Yeah. About your friend. We came here to keep you updated on the current investigation, or well, not that there is much of one anymore. This was the address you listed after visiting our precinct.”

“I’m sorry, but what was that about the investigation?” Kairi said, and Sora was confused. “There isn’t much of one anymore?”

The other detective stepped forward. “Yes, we apologize for delivering it this way, but the team has decided to drop the case.”

Sora’s eyes doubled, and quickly, Kairi stepped by him close. “Why?” 

“Because this isn’t a missing person case.” 

“Your friend ran away,” The other detective gruffed, “We have evidence to not only support it, but prior to the investigation, after you filed the report and the officers visited the place of residence, they found that all his personal belongings were gone.”

Sora couldn’t feel Kairi’s grip on his arm. “That’s because they were stolen—!”

“No, your friend is a smart guy. He documented to his insurance company his list of belongings just in case something were to happen to them. Among those things were two suitcases, a carrier case for an animal, and a carry-on bag. These items weren’t found in the home, along with his clothes, his pet, and many other items in the residence.”

“He also halted scheduled bills for gas and lighting. Notified his job for a leave, and it goes on.”

Sora could only stare as Kairi found her voice for him.

“Then, where is he?”

Both of the detectives shrugged.

“Your friend is a smart guy, like we said. He found a way to make sure he wouldn’t be found.”

“And his mother? Have you found her new address?”

They also shook their head at that. “We feel the instances are related.”

Sora didn’t understand. He just didn’t.

“Okay. Well, if that’s all...thank you,” Kairi said, tight-lipped, “but we would really appreciate the time alone now.”

They nodded, offering them up their understanding and respect. Sora barely registered Kairi opening the door and letting them out, only for Roxas and Xion to arrive at the same time, alarm on their faces.

It took Roxas to be at his side, sitting with him at the couch for him to register he had completely left, at least mentally. From the kitchen, he heard the hushed voices of Kairi and Xion going back and forth.

“They’re trying to decide what food to make you to cheer you up,” Roxas said with a soft laugh, “I said I know, I’ll cook it ...They still kicked me out.”

Sora slowly trailed eyes at him, his eyes wet. Lips trembling. Roxas stared at him for a moment and sighed. 

He hugged his shoulders and told him, like he heard before, that it was all going to be okay.

⨳

It was easy for him the next day. Last night he had prepared to do it, and then by the morning he had done it. (That police visit didn’t happen. Riku was still somewhere out there, and he was going to be found, safely. It was going to be fine. It would work out sooner or later.

Because Riku wouldn’t just leave him, right?)

Sora tugged absently at an end his of newly cut hair, looking more like himself again. He felt more different than ever in his life though. Depression and denial, well, at least he was self-aware, but what to do with self-awareness, aside from just sitting and pretending like everything was fine? 

Maybe he was still much like himself, more than he thought.

“Sora.” Yozora said, coming from behind him. He finally arrived at the cafe, Sora waiting for him after his class. “Got my notebook?”

Sora didn’t want to look at Yozora. For many reasons, all obvious. He slid it across the table as Yozora took a seat.

“I also copied some of your notes that I missed to take, if that’s okay with you.” The table was dirty, ring marks of coffee cups past.

“That’s fine. You could help yourself anytime.” He felt Yozora watching him and Sora felt like sinking deeper into his seat.

“Thanks.”

“Your eyes are swollen.” 

And there it goes. 

“Allergies.” He quickly said, looking up to meet Yozora’s quiet gaze trying to analyze him. Sora did his best to give a smile, but it wasn’t real or at the least, sheepish. “I got a haircut only to still look bad, huh?”

“Never said that,” Yozora crossed his arms on the table, “Your friend again?”

“What?”

“It’s about him again. He’s putting you through a tough time.”

Sora made a face, almost offended. “Riku wouldn’t put me through a tough time—!”

Yozora raised his brows at him, surprised. “It was only a guess, Sora.”

Quiet.

And it was like he did sink deeper in his chair, deflating. All the air that had quickly rose in him, gone—Sora looked helpless, maybe even broken. He stared at Yozora with now glassy eyes.

Yozora tucked himself deeper into his crossed arms before leaning forward, and Sora recoiled slightly, looking at him. 

_You look so much like him._

“We’re friends, right?” 

“What?”

Yozora looked to the side, inwardly biting his cheek. Sora wasn’t sure what was happening, but he recognized embarrassment when he saw it. 

“I’m saying. That...that you can talk to me?” 

Maybe,

Maybe a tear finally gave way and rolled down his cheek, almost pathetically on cue. Maybe he quickly hid his face with his arm, ears burning at the fact that Yozora was watching him cry. Maybe Yozora told him that he didn’t care and extended a hand to pat his shoulder awkwardly from his side of the table, sending glares at maybe half of the coffee shop watching. And maybe, at the touch of Yozora’s cool hand on his shoulder, Sora felt like he didn’t care much anymore either.

⨳

_"i just wanna tell you something_   
_lately you've been on my mind.."_

1.over

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment or a kudo if you liked. thanks for reading part one!


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